Sea Mother Inhofe

Tax dollars hard at work criticizing children's books:

Nairobi, Kenya – A new United Nations children’s book promoting fears of catastrophic manmade global warming is being promoted at the UN Climate Change Conference in Kenya. The books main character, a young boy, is featured getting so worried about a coming manmade climate disaster that he yells “I don’t want to hear anymore!” The new children’s book, entitled “Tore and the Town on Thin Ice” ((http://www.unep.org/PDF/TORE.pdf)) is published by the United Nations Environment Programme and blames “rich countries” for creating a climate catastrophe and urges children to join environmental groups.

The book is about a young kid named Tore who lives in an Arctic village. Tore loses a dog sled race because he crashes through the thinning ice allegedly caused by manmade greenhouse gas emissions. The book features colorful drawings and large text to appeal to young children.

Reckon we can fix dissun up right quick...

Tore saw a Senator with wrinkles like waves. "I'm the one who chairs the Senate Environment and Public Works Committe until the Democrats will appoint an envirofascist."

"This global warming conspiracy is bigger than you know," he continued, "Take your sled to find out more. I'll send you lobbyists."

The next morning, Tore harnessed his dogs and set out to learn. He noticed that patches of permafrost were thawing, creating holes in the ground. "Exxo...uh-hem, I mean Inhofe sent me," someone startled him. "Yes that's me," said a snowy owl high overhead.

The owl swooped to the ground. "The Arctic, according to the International Arctic Research Center was warmer during the 1930’s than today and both the journals Science and Nature have published studies recently finding – on balance – Antarctica is both cooling and gaining ice. A 2005 study by a scientist named Ola Johannessen and his colleagues showed that the interior of Greenland is gaining ice and mass."

She pointed with her wing: "Polar Bear's waiting for you."

Tore aimed his sled toward the shore. "How's the hunting?" he asked Polar Bear.

"Couldn't be better," he replied. "In May of 2006, biologist Dr. Mitchell Taylor from the Arctic government of Nunavut, a territory of Canada, noted that 'Of the 13 populations of polar bears in Canada, 11 are stable or increasing in number.' We are not going extinct, or even appear to be affected at present."

Suddenly a great fountain of spray burst from the sea and a whale surfaced. Before the whale could speak, Tore snapped "I know, I know, Inhofe sent you."

"How'd you guess?" Replied the whale. "I've got some good news! Many scientists dispute the notion that mankind has created a climate doomsday. The relationships between global warming and hurricanes is currently under debate, with the great majority of scientists believing there is little connection. For instance, 2006 was anticipated to be a record year for Hurricanes, but turned out to be one of the calmest seasons in many, many years."

Tore went to bed early that night, his head spinning with the news he'd heard. Soon Inhofe appeared.

"What's happening, Senator?" blurted Tore. "What can we do? And how can I help?"

"The best thing we can do at the moment is to burn as many fossil fuels as possible. Several developing world nations will soon pass the U.S. in greenhouse gas emissions. China alone will pass the U.S. in emissions in 2009. And we can't let that happen. The U.S. should remain number 1 in greenhouse gas emissions to give the owls, polar bears and whales a helping hand."