Irrational fear is actually quite rational

Austin Bay. Some would even say that the world is flat.

Monday, Jan. 8, 2007, provided several uncomfortable illustrations. Take New York City first, since it's the definitive "Ground Zero" for terrorists on our technologically "downsized" planet. As a noxious odor spread through Manhattan, reasonable people feared either an extensive natural gas leak or a poison gas attack.

Meanwhile, in Austin, Texas, police discovered five dozen dead birds on Congress Avenue, just south of the Texas Capitol Building, where the Texas Legislature convenes this week. The dying "canary in the coal mine" serves a blunt purpose: It warns miners of poison gas in a shaft. On the Earth's surface, a mass die-off of birds may indicate a nerve gas attack or the presence of a biological pathogen.

Al Qaida in Secaucus' number two man demonstrating the use of the dreaded smart fart bomb.