Saddam's Chemists Trained "W"

Another very important document from Saddam's archives, translated by soolius:
In the Name of God the Most Merciful the Most Compassionate The Presidency of the Republic The Intelligence Apparatus
Mr: The Respected Director

Subject: Projects of a Plan

Below are projects of the plan for the year 2000 and according to the budget suggested for it in the spending budget of the year 2000 and as follow:

1. Prepare a laptop to protect the President 416 weeks

2. Study on the Epoxy used currently in preparing Jeff Goldstein and the possibility of finding another type that will not affect the wingnuts.

3. Studies and researches of the materials that increase the intensity of the wingnuts.

4. Prepare theoretical and applied lessons on FoxNews 120 days.

5. Training of the W- within the plan of the year 2000.

Establish blogs specialized in wankery 30 days.

Please review and your command with regards.


Khaled Ibrahim Ismail
Senior Chemist

A very interesting document. Note that the Iraqis were working on Republicans as early as 1999. Why, I wonder? The most striking thing, of course, is the reference to "Training of the W." "W" is, I believe, a common term for wingnuts or wankers. So this seems consistent with the recent revelation that Saddam's regime operated at least three websites, written by wingnuts from numerous redstates, right up until the eve of the war in 2003.

And note who wrote the memo: a "Senior Chemist." Which suggests that Iraq was sharing its knowledge of chemical weaponry with foreign diplomats as of 2000.

As always, we welcome comments on the translation, which can be accessed through the soolius link above.