Noddle me - GOP!

Here at Coeruleus, we've been ceaselessly working to provide fair and balanced election covereage, so of course we were immediately curious when we saw this headline.

"GOP Wants Moore Locked Up Over Noodle Bribe"

Wow, this must be a clear case of liberals bribing their way into shit they shouldn't be bribing their way into! It's especially noteworthy that the URL the story is posted to is the "elitestv.com" website, so they must give us all sorts of important information of the "Hollywood elite" Bill O'Reilly and Hannity keep telling us about. And, as expected, they do:

"The Michigan Republican Party has demanded that filmmaker Michael Moore be prosecuted for offering fresh underwear and and stale soup to college students in exchange for their promise to vote."

Gasp! And, it gets worse:

"The Fahrenheit 9/11 director has been on the road with his 60-city Slacker Uprising Tour -- with their Slacker Oath: 'Pick nose! Pick butt! Pick Kerry!' -- hitting 20 battleground states, imploring 'slackers' who usually don't vote to get out to the polls this year and make a difference in the presidential race. During each program Moore invites 'habitual non-voters' on stage to pledge to vote, presenting them gag prizes for their troubles."

Nose pickers voting? Get Kofi! uh, Kay, uh I mean Duelfer, uh, eh whatever. All joking aside, we need to find out more! Well, the Michigan GOP , known for profound commentary like ""Numbers don't lie...and this month's job numbers prove once again that President Bush's economic policy is working. and quotes in recent articles titled "Strong feelings make singers musical bedfellows in concert politics" and "Bush, Kerry clash on cars," know how to keep their eye focussed on the enemy of American values. And that, of course is underwear:

"'We want everyone to participate in this year's election, but not because they were bribed or coerced by the likes of Michael Moore,' said Greg McNeilly, executive director of the state Republican Party."

whoa. underwear. Who knew! this is the October surprise!

Shit, who cares, because We're all gonna die!!!. Hey, don't kids wear underwear?

"The Homeland Security official said the material was associated with a specific individual in Iraq, and it could not be established that this man had any ties to terrorism. He did have a connection to civic groups doing planning for schools in Iraq, the official said.

Uh, oh boy, now I'm confused. OK, focus on the underwear.

the underwear.

the underwe