Annan Criticized by Bush

NEW YORK - The Bush administration, after having been curiously reluctant to raise the terror threat alert level since winning re-election, announced earlier today that all options are on the table with regards to recourse against the UN, including the so-called "nuclear option." Bush proclaimed that "due to the diligent work done by Fox News reporters in uncovering Secretary General Kofi Annan's son Kojo's role in the oil-for-food scandal and equally diligent work covering up the role US firms had in bribing Saddam, we have no other option but to raise the terror threat level to baby-blue." Baby-blue is a new level in the Homeland Security color-coded terror threat alert system installed after September 11, 2001, which is specifically designed to alert citizens of disputes involving the UN. Former Secretary of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, stated in an earlier interview that code baby blue--also known by insiders as code burka blue for its similarity to both the UN peacekeeping uniforms as well as the popular women's clothing color in Afghanistan--will make this country safer. Reffering to Donald Rumsfeld's often amusing description of heads of states of formerly allied countries, Ridge said "If we had had code Burka before the Iraq war, we would not have needed to raise the terror threat level all the way to Orange to highlight conservative pundit's Op-Ed pieces justifying Rummie spouting off in front of the cameras." An additional benefit to code Burka is that citiizens can be detained indefinitely if they arrive at town hall meetings in cars bearing "No Blood For Oil" bumper stickers. US ambasador to the UN John Negroponte, who was also present at the news conference today, elaborated that code baby blue will be in effect until the UN installs Bush as Secretary General.