The true origin of the universe

Eventually, we will turn our focus back towards more science-posting, but for now I have to agree with Sean Paul over at the Agonist: this guy's great

"Remember Dow 5000? I sure do and if I should ever forget, there is always someone nearby to remind me of that “singularity” when I temporarily lost my mind. It only lasted for a split second, although my current investment universe is still in the process of cooling, condensing, and spewing forth lots of additional hot gas. I dare bring this topic back up because like a true scientist, I have examined the evidence and have come up with a theory that explains Dow 5000 in the negative—why we haven’t gone there."