SO YOU'RE MOVING TO A RED-STATE...

Are you a solid blue-state liberal Democrat seeking to move to a wingnutty conservative Republican red-state? Maybe a job change has forced this tragedy upon you and your family, or maybe you're one of those brave souls attempting to go forth and multiply in a conservative swath of the country hoping to affect future elections.

Whatever the reason, let our team of experts at movingtoaredstate.com help! We know that you won't give up your liberal tendencies, but you may feel hesitant to display them in public. Especially since we all know how much wingnuts love their guns! At movingtoaredstate.com, we are dedicated to advising you on how to avoid those awkward situations with red-staters where they have strength in numbers; in red-states. Just look at what we offer:

Bumper stickers have your car looking like an Atrios open thread on wheels? Let us help you with red-state-compliance! Don't worry, we won't force you to put Jesus stickers on your car, take a look:

Avoid excessive traffic tickets by switching from "Worst President Ever" to dog-lover stickers!

You have certain unrestrained outbursts from time to time?

Fuck Bush.

We can help:

Mah, mah, those Magnolias are purty this time of year, ain't they?

Learn how to keep your negative opinions about wingnuts to yourself!


You tend to be somewhat lefty-snarky when discussing the internets?

Did you read Michael Bérubé's response to Sadly, No!’s responses to Mark Kleiman’s response to Atrios’ response and Digby’s response to Ana Marie Cox’s response to Stephen Colbert’s routine at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner?

Don't worry, movingtoaredstate.com will teach you all there is to know about the wingnutosphere.

That John Hinderacker shur keeps comin' up with the darndest things, don't he?

Learn to stop referring to ""Assrocket" at "Powerlie", "Pisspotmedia", and "Hot Air" and instead use terminology like "Hate-rios", "Kossacks", "DUmbocrats" and the "101st Fighting Keyboardists", while expressing SCHOCK and OUTRAGE at the unhinged left!


Yes, our team of experts will help make your transition as smooth as possible because we know what it takes to act red but think blue. Plus, if you log on now, we will throw in this useful wingnut kit absolutely free!

Ask about our travelling Presidential nominees package!