Well Congratu-effin'-lations!

After all the long hard work, the personal sacrifice which resulted in the early adoption of cutting-edge technology, the relentless pressure we put on ourselves to do a better job and lead by example, we can now finally say that soon we will no longer be the number one emitter of Carbon Dioxide.

We couldn't have done it without the foresight of Washington think tanks and lobbyists, brilliant policy analysts, rigorous scientists and engineers, and wise politicians.