Stay tuned for the next episode where I reveal my cunning plan!

Cal Thomas still not getting it:

This is a two-part column. Part one is what you might expect from a politically conservative person who believes "global warming" is a secular religion and that Al Gore deserved the Nobel Peace Prize as much as Yasser Arafat, Le Duc Tho and a myriad of other low-wattage lights, which is to say not at all. The second part may surprise my liberal friends.

The Church of Global Warming (CGW) is a cult. A cult has a number of definitions, among them this one from dictionary.com: "A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader." Cults wish to control others. Global warming fundamentalists wish to do the same through the power of government.

[...five paragraphs of ridicule...]

Having said that (and far more could be said and is being said), conservatives miss an opportunity when they only ridicule Gore and dismiss his ideas. They should be asking themselves whether it might be possible to find common ground with Gore on at least one of his doctrinal issues that would serve nearly everyone's interests. This is where Part Two begins.

Republicans and Democrats repeatedly tell us we rely too much on foreign oil, especially that which comes from a current trouble spot, the Middle East, and that which comes from a potential trouble spot, Venezuela. Might it be possible for the CGW crowd and the Church of Free Enterprise (CFE) to come together for the common purpose of reducing our reliance on foreign oil? CGW fundamentalists would get what they want -- a reduced carbon footprint and supposedly lower global temperatures (go ahead and let them believe it) -- while CFE parishioners would rejoice that Saudi Arabia's hold on us (not to mention its use of our money to underwrite terrorism) could be broken.

All this global warming stuff is just hooey and anyone who seriously thinks we should do something about it is insane. But as long as it comes to sticking it to the Mooslems, we'll go along with it and score some greenie points with voters while we're at it! Up next: why carbon really is life and how socialist pagan alarmists are trying to take it away from us.